Year 2021 was a long and interesting journey with some ups and downs. There was growth in my professional life and shifts in personal one that brought many joys and also tears. I found equal moments of uplifting presence, elation, and connection as well as dimming moments of absence, grief and separation.

I started last year with a big announcement of letting go of my Iyengar Yoga (IY) certification. Something I had worked hard towards attaining up to Junior 1 level. I wrote another blog post about my reasons behind it last January. Then the next month, in February, I took a much needed social media detox. I completed my Kinstretch training online and became certified to teach Kinstretch classes. This was a follow up to the Functional Range Conditioning (FRC) mobility program. The functional range system augmented growth in my asana practice tremendously. Part of the reason I wished to let go of IY certification was so I could incorporate elements from FRC, among other schools of movement education, into my teaching without fear of mixing methods.

DJ Captain Planet - Ecstatic Dance LA at Venice Beach

At the end of March I got vaccinated. I invited my partner at the time, from Florida to come spend time in California. The following months we enjoyed attending Ecstatic Dance parties on Venice Beach with DJ Captain Planet.

Through the year I continued twice a week practice with Carrie Owerko on her Playground platform. Every week I learned so much from her brilliant teachings as always. In addition, I took weekly Kinstretch classes with the wonderful Jessica Carlin.

In April I found myself crypto curious and created my first and only NFT. It can be viewed on Rarible.

Zain Syed at Joshua Tree celebrating 40th birthday — Vrksasana at Joshua Tree

I was grateful for all the opportunities I got to teach live online classes with Yoga International as well as workshops with studios Yoga Kraftwerk in Germany and Yoga Penochao in Brazil.

In June, I celebrated my 40th birthday in Joshua Tree and Desert Hot Springs . This was probably one of the best highlights of my whole year. Next month, in July, I went to my first live concert in the pandemic and checked out Thievery Corporation play at the Stern Grove in San Francisco. In August my partner i separated and she left California to return to her family in Florida. Later in the fall, in September, I attended workshops in Los Angeles with Mike Fitch and the Animal Flow team. This was the first in-person training I attended in over 18 months. It was a challenging new experience and felt amazing. The next month, in October, I led a daily handstand challenge on Instagram which was super fun. On the outside and online I was happy. On the inside and offline my heart was tender from the parting of a loving partnership.

In the middle of November I had an unexpected visit to the hospital ICU for a head trauma injury. This “hemorrhagic contusion” had me in downtime and recovery for almost over a month to let my brain heal. I wasn’t able to do any inversions for a while. Though I was able to teach classes, my practice felt quite limited. By the holidays in December, as I enjoyed family time, I was finally able to get a little more dynamic with movements but my stamina and strength needed to be regained.

That’s a rollercoaster wrap up in a brief blog post. Vulnerability is a healing thing too. Three big lessons I learned from the past year:

Don’t take the community for granted. While I still have support from many people in Iyengar Yoga, for which I’m grateful, I don’t feel I’m as close within that community as I used to be. Part of me remains happy with my decision to let go of IY certification and the other half misses the warmth of community connection.

Don’t take partnership for granted. It was in the absence of connection that I arrived at a latent understanding to value and appreciate a loving relationship that was created. I felt saudades–something that's lost but is still here. An absence but also a presence. A kind of heartache to which one chooses to attach themself. A hanging on and letting go feeling simultaneously. I also knew and felt it was not meant to be with her. I am glad for the parting.

Don’t take my head, heart, or health for granted. Life is short. Heart is tender. Go to sleep counting blessings. Wake up with gratitude and a renewed sense of being alive. Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for a brighter tomorrow.

🎧 Currently listening to and enjoying “The Pool of Memories” by Lubomyr Melnyk.